Ok, I won't lie here. After the initial fight, we have "talk" things through... I blame him. It is because of his super sensitive feeling of the harsh words that I used when I talk to him. Well, that's my style of talking, I am the sarcastic bastard that got ways with harsh words. Geez... he lived with me through the entire year... and he don't know that? Great!.
After we've talked things through...I still feel like there's some tension between us(honestly, the first few days, I don't feel anything but since he confessed that he knows the "art of making fake faces",I'm kinda worried). Now, the problem is... I'll just write it in a simple scenario.
Lets say that we're all in a kindergarten, everyone has a share of candy that they brought. While I share my candy with everyone else, he(wiri) get my share of candy and he pretend that he do not have any candy. And in my back, he was sharing his candy with everyone else and keep it a secret. Now that I know that he got candy and don't want to neither share nor let me know, I also don't want to share my candy to him any longer. Now, here's the cliche, its just like he tells the teacher that I don't want to share him any candy of mine....At first, I am the victim...now suddenly, He is the victim?. what a way of the world.
Pissed out,
Jensen
After we've talked things through...I still feel like there's some tension between us(honestly, the first few days, I don't feel anything but since he confessed that he knows the "art of making fake faces",I'm kinda worried). Now, the problem is... I'll just write it in a simple scenario.
Lets say that we're all in a kindergarten, everyone has a share of candy that they brought. While I share my candy with everyone else, he(wiri) get my share of candy and he pretend that he do not have any candy. And in my back, he was sharing his candy with everyone else and keep it a secret. Now that I know that he got candy and don't want to neither share nor let me know, I also don't want to share my candy to him any longer. Now, here's the cliche, its just like he tells the teacher that I don't want to share him any candy of mine....At first, I am the victim...now suddenly, He is the victim?. what a way of the world.
Pissed out,
Jensen
3 comments:
I dun think the sample case makes sense. Dun really know how to apply it in ur case. =.= as requested my comment:
But one thing I know, n I think you should believe in me "Stop talking about it"
As I always told u guys "the more u talk about the thing that u love, the more you will fall for it. And vice versa"
This cold war, not only has happened between u two, but happened to our unit last time. But c, we manage to settle it. It's now part of funny history.
Talk things through shouldn't give too much 'qualifications' to be fulfilled and dun expect too much. Every individual is different, u will be dissapointed from expecting too much from others. Believe me.
Friendship & relationship require one of the parties involved to give in not only take. In your case, if you said, ur fren cant take the harsh word you throw to him, then you might need to change the way you talk. Being the one who give in, it's never called as a loser. I dunno much about how exactly is the prob between u two, but it feels not good between u two, and neither frens around you.
So... build a bridge & get over it, as simple as that.
It was a hot day; Lee decided to turn on the fan. Chan was annoyed and yelled, "Don't just think about yourself. You know I have a cold. Please turn off the fan”.
Chan’s yelling kindled Lee’s anger, and he answered back. “You are the one with the cold. If you don’t like the fan, you can sit over there.”
Now, Lee was really angry and shot back, “Why should I move?”
One wants to turn on the fan, and the other wants it off. One is hot, while the other has a cold. When they only take their own comfort into consideration, instead of trying to be thoughtful and considerate about the other’s feelings, a difficult situation ensues. What if Chan had put himself in Lee’s shoes from the beginning and simply moved out of the way of the fan so Lee could be cool? Or, what if Lee had just apologized to Chan for pointing the fan in his direction and simply moved the fan so it blew elsewhere? If they had only considered the other’s point of view and made minor adjustments, the whole incident would have just blown over. In this way, affinity is energized, not stifled; peaceful coexistence is nurtured, not arrested.
Venerable Hsing Yun.
When both you and Wiri talk things through, understand what are the things that caused the friction in the beginning. From what you have written, perhaps it’s because of your way of talking and his sensitiveness. I don’t know. Both of you ask yourselves; are you ready to be honest with each other and speak your mind? Be open minded in discussion. You blamed him even after talking things through. Is this the way to talk things through?
You and Wiri may want to ask each other, “What is it about you that is bothering me?” and “Why is it bothering me?” Then, how do you plan to adapt to each other? A question mustn’t have a one-sided view. Ask the other person how he feels about it too.
It is still bothering him. He can fake faces, but he knows very well that he is still feeling uneasy about it. We co-exist within this place. There are many ways to see through this issue. What paths you and Wiri will choose are entirely up to yourselves.
I apologize if I don’t entirely understand the ongoing issue which resulted in me giving improper comments. Hope things turn out well =)
Hey,
I believe that we can decide better when our anger subside. We have a two-month break, I believe you will feel better during the break when you are away from him. Hopefully, your anger will subside at that time. And do spend some time pondering about the issue without the anger in your mind. I believe you will be able to see things clearer.
I'm not sure what kind of opinions will be helpful to you or Wiri.
If I'm in your shoe, I will say..
I can't change/fix the 'external'. I can't change others including Wiri. I can only change myself.
Usually I won't think much whether the 'external' is right or wrong or neutral because I can't change it. But I will think about what I've done.
You see, most of us really long for others to accept our differences and weaknesses. An example, you may hope that others can accept your 'harsh' way of expressing your dislike/opinion. You have a set of reasons for the way you do things. You hope others can understand your reasons.
So do I. So does Wiri.
Try not to say, "Let it be. I don't care anymore". Because there won't be a closure to what have happened. And you will have escaped from nurturing yourself.
Remember the time when I send an sms to apologize to a friend? Actually, I hope that I can forgive myself after apologizing. It is how I try to nurture myself.
Long-winded me.. haha.
Let me summarize,
- wait till your anger subside
- think about it
- do something about it which allows you to accept/nurture yourself
- try not to "Let it be. I don't care anymore"
- closure is important (in my opinion)
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